Maggie's Anniversary

Last Friday marked the one year anniversary of Maggie's Day. Thank you to all the family and friends that reached out to us last week. Your continued support means so much to us. I am thankful for what God has done for our family this year (as we eagerly await the arrival of Maggie's little brother) and am thankful for the restoration He has brought to our lives. But the truth is, September 7th will never be "just another day" in our house. It will always be Maggie's day - the day we celebrated her birth, the day we gave her back to Jesus. My emotions ran high last week - not knowing how best to celebrate Maggie, how best to honor her.On Friday morning, I found myself at the funeral home where her ashes are kept. It just seemed like the right place to go. I sat in a parlor and gave myself the opportunity to grieve for a few minutes --missing someone you love is just part of the human experience. Then it was time to wipe my tears and celebrate the little life that touched so many.

My sister, Julee, jump-started the celebration by bringing over cupcakes from McEntyre's bakery.
She also gave me beautiful red roses in a vase etched with Maggie's initials and adorned with a pearl necklace.

My parents sent a beautiful bouquet of pink and white flowers and
Charles also arranged two bouquets of flowers for his girls -- me and Maggie.

On Saturday, Charles, Carson, and I visited the Angel Garden in Sandy Springs. It is a special memorial garden established by SHARE Atlanta for families who have lost babies. We have ordered a memorial brick for Maggie that will be placed in the garden this Fall. I am so grateful to have a place to go as a family to remember and celebrate Maggie.

We left a single flower at the Angel Garden in celebration of Maggie's day.

We have a special box to store our memories of Maggie -- the angel blanket we wrapped around her when she was born, the pearl bracelet and tiny pink hat we placed on her after she was born, ink handprints and footprints, the many cards of sympathy and support we received from family and friends, the hand-stitched blue smocked dress we received as a gift from a friend, a certificate from the milk bank where I was able to donate my milk to help other babies in NICU, the teddy bear I carried home with me from the hospital, small locks of Maggie's hair,  a white blanket made by Nana, and pictures of the day we spent together.

Maggie the middle child

In the months following Maggie's birth, I often heard the question "do you think that you will have any more children?" My answer was always the same:  "I think Maggie will be a middle child, just like her momma." It now appears that Maggie and I have something in common. I know that she is smiling down on me from heaven and is excited about her baby brother growing in my tummy. There hasn't been a day gone by that I haven't thought about Maggie and I will never seek to replace her. However, even while I was still pregnant with Maggie, I was confident that God wanted our family to continue to grow. I am past the halfway mark with this pregnancy and am excited to announce that a healthy baby boy will be joining our family in November. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was really excited but also struggled with fear. Again, I asked God for a covering of peace. He provided that peace by continuing to reveal ways that Maggie's life impacted the lives of others. I want to say thank you to all those who shared with me the ways that Maggie made a difference in your lives.

I am so thankful for the good reports I received from the doctor at my 20 week ultrasound a few weeks ago. Both Charles and I felt such a heavy load lifted from our shoulders when we found out I was carrying a healthy baby boy. The weeks leading up to the ultrasound were very emotional and I still have moments of sadness. Now that my "baby bump" is in full bloom, I often get asked by well-meaning strangers if this is my first/only child. At first, I had such a difficult time answering this question. I didn't want to have to explain about Maggie to those who didn't know, but I also felt like it was a betrayal if I didn't acknowledge her. The truth is she will always be a part of our family and I will never forget her. She knows that she is loved and that is all that matters. I found that the best way to answer the "how many children do you have" question is to simply say that "I have a four-year-old at home with me" and leave it at that. Carson, of course, is excited about the new addition to our family and continues to reference his baby brother as "the NEW baby in mommy's tummy" and sometimes still refers to "he" as "she." He is such a great big brother! We feel blessed that both Carson and our new baby boy will have an extra set of angel eyes watching them from heaven.